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1st January 2018

1st January 2018

 

The blood-warm waters embrace me

Supporting my silent intentions

As Luna sails billowing ripples

Across a sea of ink seen in glimpses

Between wispy sighs and deeper, darker groans

Oaths that this year will be better and wetter

Than the last just past midnight.

 

Surrounded, floating in an artificial world

Under the brilliant glow of the Goddess’s pale gaze

2017 flickers across my mind’s screen

like failing black and white celluloid

already disintegrating before it can be archived

shoved by the brash New Year into the background

hum of decades of other stories

 

Full of bravado, difficulties and broken pledges

Of passionate avowals that, ‘This will be the Year.’

Of crumpled promissory notes to self

Torn from the pages of my life’s novel

Individual misremembered memoir

 

The trajectory of my quest –

Nirvana’s path

Not a smooth curve of learning…rather

A lumpy, bumpy graph of false starts

Dead ends and a pilgrim’s slow progress

 

A struggle up mountainous slopes

Of self-imposed complicated obstacles

The range looming, challenging

choices yet before me

doubt and apprehension twin companions.

 

I’ve turned back to view heavenly peaks

Of small successes but already

the mist of self-congratulatory forgetfulness

hides lows and highs alike but

I still feel the euphoria induced by

A combination of straining against the odds

And the oxygen deprivation of

Imagined ascendancy pulled from thin air.

 

I’ve already achieved so much

Succeeded despite boulders of bad choices

Ignorance stemming from an inadequate education

That I thought finished when

I left school, left home, graduated

An adult fool

 

Yea though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death

I fear there is still evil or animal in me

Or sitting on my shoulder hissing vitriol

against my stalwart self-consciousness

My decision to continue to strive for a better me

Without which there will be no better world.

 

Soaking in the half-light of self-affirmation

Filled with the heady wine of self-applause

I face forward with a vow…

‘I can do this – I just have to believe in me.’

 

 

 

By rosepoetartist

aka Percy Rose
Novelist
Poet
Playwright
Artist

3 replies on “1st January 2018”

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