Categories
Uncategorized Writing

In My Head

Hi all, I don’t have too much time as I gear up to my first gig at giving a workshop. I’m getting a bit nervous…Lord, I hope I don’t bore everyone …no, no, no….I’ll be fine…Won’t it?…sure it will…no worries…right?

Ha! In a week’s time it will all be over and I can find something else to obsess about. What? You don’t know about the workshop thingy? Well, let me tell you..Nah! Just read the flyer below…

Beautiful Balgal Beach has plenty of camping/caravan sites. Come and make a week-end of it. You’ll fall in love with it.

On the writing front, I am slowly getting back into things, but right now I have to leave

P.S. Here is something a little strange that came to me last week. ENJOY!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD

It’s 3 a.m. and there is a bored meeting going on in my head. All the big-wigs are there, the minor feelings and senses will follow their leaders without thought or hesitation. Even if they have to be pushed into it a little, they will obey because that is their nature.

The Nerves are here tuning up under the pessimistic baton of Anxiety, who has obviously been drinking the heady nectar of Worry-wort. She has The Nerves singing in discordant rounds of where, when, why and what ifs.

Let’s see. There’s the CEOs of the Office of Emotions, Happiness and Anger; arguing as usual; Happy is annoying Anger by singing and laughing at the slightest provocation. I’m with Anger, Happy can be sooooo aggravating, but there’s no need for Anger to indulge in all that shouting and hyperbole. She’s being downright rude. We all tell her to pull her head in. Now she sits slumped in her chair, staring at the desk, arms crossed over her chest, ignoring everyone, refusing to speak even when spoken to.

The Department of Commonsense has sent along Strength, Perseverance and Endurance, who support each other through the toughest of times. They have no problem with each other, except that Strength can’t understand why the other two need propping up all the time. She can be a terrific bully if not held in check. Endurance is going on and on about her trials and tribulations. Perseverance doesn’t say much, just nods until she’s dizzy, falls off her chair, picks herself up and carries on as though nothing happened. She’s a bit weird like that.

The Bureau of Neatness and Order is here, holding hands as always. They are Siamese twins. Order tries to ensure we are all in the correct place and take our turns in giving our opinions. Neatness follows behind straightening the pads and pencils obsessively. She wipes up spills over and over, and frankly, gets in the way of our business.

The triplets Confusion, Disinterest and Inattention, are flicking spit-balls and tossing paper planes at everyone else. They keep getting out of place and mucking up all the hard work of the others, while their big brother, Chaos, rubs his hands and laughs at their antics.

The noise level in here is awful. Everyone wants their opinion to hold sway, but I can’t sort one out from the others. I do wish Confusion would shut the hell up. I’m getting a headache.

Oh dear, that’s animated Anger again. She is trying to shove Happiness out, but instead has opened the door to Sadness, who’s moaning and wailing, drowning in very real and sometimes imagined lakes of despair. She over-rides all other voices for a moment, but Strength, Endurance and Perseverance have taken her in hand and led her to her chair. Her noise abates, with only the occasional hiccup and wiping of a tear to let me know she’s not too far away.

Anger raps the table loudly, and into the following stillness says, ‘I’m sorry…

Uh oh, ‘schlop!’ a spit-ball stings Anger’s cheek and a paper plane lodges in her wild and woolly hair. She loses it; grabs daydreaming Disinterest, pinning her to the wall. Confusion washes over them both and Inattention leaps into the fray pointing to Sadness who is ramping up to a howl, again.

Happiness has gone AWOL.

Anger shakes off her assailants and lashes out at anyone and everyone. She takes a memory off the wall and bashes them with it until the original, true picture is unrecognisable, just another weapon in Anger’s armoury. Meanwhile, Pandemonium rushes in and eggs them all on. The noise level rises.

My head is going to explode. Strength, Perseverance and Endurance stand back against the wall, trying to keep out of the way and stop Sadness from taking over the podium. Papers, abuse and fists are flying. Water-colour memories, already faded and misty with time, are irreparably damaged. Strength wants to bash heir heads together, but Endurance and Perseverance convince her to stay strong.

Chaos has torn up today’s agenda, and throws the pieces into the air like confetti. The Nerves are strung out, plucking at the high, sharp notes. Anxiety winds them up to fever pitch, making every breath an effort, every muscle quivers.

Self-doubt is standing in the corner, where she has been hiding in plain-sight the whole time. She’s staring out at the madness from her self-imposed gloom with large fear-filled eyes. She’s being poked and prodded by Anger and Confusion. She sends out a warning tremor quickly followed by a tsunami of negativity.

Hurt creeps in and hugs both her and Sadness, assuring them they have every reason for their over-the-top reactions. Hurt settles but continues to tremble in an ague affecting the whole body.

Despite the cacophony in my head, my ears pick up an early morning trill. I open my windows to see a small light touching the horizon of a new day, slowly easing out darkness.

Calmness floats in on the slow sunrise. She hugs Anxiety, eases the baton from her tight-clenched fist and conducts The Nerves to a slower, more easeful beat. They respond slowly, loosening their grips and lightening their touch. Calmness now wafts around the room touching first one then another of the more disruptive elements. Confetti and paper planes drift to the floor.

Pandemonium and Chaos slink out the door as Neatness and Order sidle back in, just in front of Kindness, Hope and Love. Neatness sweeps up the debris and places pads and pencils back on the table, just so. Order rights the overturned chairs and directs us all to take our rightful seats, whispering, ‘There, there. We all have our parts to play. We just have to know our place in the pecking order.’

Calm talks from the notes of the morning chorus; the warble of the magpies, the raucous call of cockatoos, the soft cooing of doves and pigeons and the cheerful ‘chip-chip’ of the sunbirds.

Happiness, who had fainted clean away, is revived if not fully restored. She is paler and thinner than usual. Kookaburra fills her with a feast of ribald laughter, fey enough to make anybody smile.

With Calmness now reigning at the head of the table, I speak. ‘Let’s go for a long walk in the crisp morning air through the natural world. The path lies clear before us, all we have to do is tread it. But, first…group hug!’

Endurance is first on her feet, a most willing participant. Perseverance and Strength are close behind. Sadness and Hurt join Anxiety in moving more slowly forward; wanting comfort, but afraid they will get lost, or even killed in the crush. Neatness and Order check the room for stragglers and step up. All of us are encircled by the gentle embrace of Calmness, Hope, Love and Kindness. We move closer together, coalesce into a whole. Happiness rises from the centre.

I embrace them all, reassured that they each have their part to play in my life. If we stick together we can conquer anything. We walk as one into the call of the new day.

Look. It’s not always this mad in here, but yesterday was hard; things were said, injuries sustained, old wounds re-opened. The many me,s needed the promise of the new dawn to bring in The Calm, which allows Kindness, Hope and Love to enter. (c) Rosa Christian

Categories
Art Poetry Writing

Too much to do

Hi, I am in that place where your head is so full of stuff that needs doing that it stops functioning and cottonwool gets into the works and gums everything up.

I am trying to get 2 separate books ready for separate comps and the computer has decided to throw a hissy fit, and go on a go slow strike. I’ve just rebooted and this at least seems to be working quite okay. We’ll see what happens when I try to publish.

Speaking of publishing…I am trying to get a book cover uploaded to Ingram, using their template PDF. Now, I admit I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but neither am I a complete idiot. I have submitted numerous tries, some of which I know contained errors that were my fault however I’ve followed instruction and corrected everything I can and still have no luck. I wrote them a letter and got a pissant reply that basically ignored my questions. Has anyone else there had this problem. Maybe it is all my fault. Maybe I am an idiot.Oh well, I’ll keep trying. I can be incredibly stubborn, and who knows I might get lucky. If you can help please leave a comment.

I’m also editing stuff for Percy Rose, whose posts, by the way, are appearing on my FB page, Rosa’s Work, instead on their page, Percy Rose – author. The internet hates me.

On a brighter note, my collection of short stories, Forgotten Dreams and other fiction’, should be up on Amazon soon…ish, as will my newest poetry book, ‘Light and Dark’.

On top of all that is the Pandemic and the imminent arrival of Christmas, which I am NOT ready for. Aaarrrgghhh!

What a lot of whinging. Sorry. I’ll be more positive next time I’m sure, and here’s something positive to finish with. The picture above is a commission I recently completed. Please excuse the quality of the photo I always get a glare bouncing back from my oils.

Must be off. Ciao for now, Rosa.

Categories
Writing

Am I good enough?

So, as you can tell by the above title I am having a small existential crisis. Is my writing good enough to publish? Am I just being big-headed thinking I can write at all? Why do I even need to put it out there?

Well, I don’t know the answers but have found a glimmer of hope by reading other novels. I have read several books recently, I especially loved Miss Lily’s Lovely Ladies by Jackie French. It was an intriguing read, well written with well-drawn characters and a great sense of place. There was an interesting twist near the end (Actually, I guessed the mystery but then I love puzzles) which some of my friends tell me they didn’t see coming.

Presently Im reading a couple of Australian ones ATM Judy Nunn’s Maralinga which is especially interesting as my father was there with the Australian Army back in the day. The other is Di Morrissey’s Heart of the Dreaming. It was her first published book and has some good Aboriginal content. It’s interesting for me to see how she handles this area.

Anyhow, I am feeling a bit more sure that my books are worth the effort and must now save up to publish some hard copies. In the meantime, have you tried Kindle Scout? Did it work for you? I am thinking of putting RIP up but will need to study how’s and where’s more carefully. Drop me a line if you have any helpful hints or just a word about how it all went for you.

Okay, ciao for now,  Rosa

Categories
Art Writing

A pat on the back for me…

Good news… 1st Prize and one of the consolation prizes for yours truly at local art expo and comp…yaah! Just the pick-me-up I needed.

Unfortunately the rainy weather kept people away in droves which was disappointing. However as a bonus I sold all my stock of my poetry books…so all in all feeling pretty chuffed with the weekend.

I know, once again,it’s been an age but I am still wrestling with my computer which has now locked me out and is not recognising my password.

I am tapping this out on my phone and quietly going mad…madder.

I actually have quite a bit to talk about but will make a number of small blogs over the next few days..weeks? Because this is driving me nuts…

I would put up the paintings but the setup is quite different on the phone and I can’t figure out how…I’ve found add media but it won’t add from my gallery…so sorry…maybe I’ll have my computer fixed by the next blog but don’t hold your breath…ciao for now…Rosa

Categories
Art Uncategorized Writing

Hello again!

I decided it was time to write something here and start to become active again. I had to laugh when I looked back. It seems this is turning int an annual blog, just about. Ah well! Lots has happened of course but most of that is of no interest to you. So let me tell you a few things. I have entered masses of competitions, both art and writing, and been rejected. I have sent work off to masses of publishers and been rejected. The latest was a portrait I did for the Perc Tucker Gallery Portrait Competition, it was rejected…didn’t even make it onto the wall…I was dejected. However, I still like it and think it was good enough to make the grade…poo to them…boohoo for me. Here it is.20160211_105019.jpg

If you like it tell me. If you hate it, shut up, I don’t want to hear. Lol! What does one do with a failed portrait? Damned if I know. I have offered it to the subject but he only asked for a photo and hasn’t got back to me yet…maybe it really is that bad. Tough. Out to the shed it will go. The rats can gnaw on him until I turn the shed into a gallery/workshop…or I die, whichever comes first. Calm down, it’s a joke. It is a dark and rainy day here and I’ll talk about what ever I like.

On the writing front, because of the rejections I’ve looked at RIP again and decided to add another twist then to hell with it I will self publish. As Percy Rose, of course. He is being resurrected along side me. Why? I read that one should have a different author name for each genre…apparently…

I’ve written a few poems but not as many as usual. Feeling a bit shaky about them. I am feeling shaky about all of my writing, really. Some short stories have been rewritten, also wrote a couple of short memoir pieces. Yes Lindsay Simpson REALLY.

T t t t hat’s all f folks!  (for now)  Cheers Rosa.

This is supposed to go automatically go to my facebook but is notdoing so…rats…

 

Categories
Writing

Townsville Writers’ Festival

Oh hush! I’m not even going to bother to apologise for not writing in this blog for so long. I have no real excuse, or rather lots of excuses and no real reason. So, let’s get straight to it.

I spent the weekend just passed at the above festival, attending talks and workshops, pretending that the rest of the world did not exist except as something to write about. I talked travel on Friday and  again on Sunday (memoir) with my friend Lindsay Simpson, who was my Prof for my masters; I studied poetry with Samuel Wagan Watson who is so inspirational; I went and listened to the Colin Roderick Lecture by Joanne Murray-Smith. ( I will try to find a published copy for you so you can be as reassured as I was that self-doubt amongst many other things is simply one more obstacle to overcome.) I listened to Ian See talk publishing. Hugh Lunn entertained me (and many others) with his stories about his stories.

There were many more talks I would like to have attended but the scheduling was tight. Maybe next time.

I caught up with a number of friends, Phil, Michael, Lori, Lila and Peter among them. Their stories are so interesting. We talked a lot but not enough, playing catch-up.

I also wrote some new pieces which hold promise. Now, that was pleasing!

I would like to thank all the organisers, volunteers, sponsors and presenters for a hugely enjoyable time. Alas, I didn’t take a single photo. I was too busy and to be honest it didn’t even cross my mind.

My brain is still buzzing and my enthusiasm is high. I will try to push ahead and send out my MSS to a publisher soon.

The one I’m preparing is a Sci-fi/Fantasy. YA, I guess, but hoping that adults will enjoy it as well. Is it horribly superstitious not to want to reveal too much at this point?It is, isn’t it? Too bad.

Also thinking that ‘Jenny’s Story’ should go out as well,,,just thinking.

It is hard to concentrate on writing and reading when the cooler months have arrived here in North Queensland. Today, for example, is a gift from heaven. Perfect. And, five more months to go. I’ve just spent five minutes staring out the window.

Sinbad, the dog not my book, is as furry and cuddly as always…Still as silly as a square wheel though.

Ciao for now, Rosa.

Categories
Art Uncategorized Writing

Wanting to write, but…

I have this urge in me to write but for some reason I can’t settle to do that. I have lots of excuses, like the most painful sciatica for the past fortnight and being tired after work and being busy painting and all the gardening that needs doing at the end of the wet and ….. Well, you get the picture. I am feeling frustrated and wondering if it is all worth it. This too shall pass but it hurts to butt your head against a brick wall so often.

I have started plotting out my historical faction…a little. And my alter ego Percy Rose has edited (again) Jenny’s Story. Still waiting for Beta reader 2 (better not mention any names here) to send me her thoughts. I, I mean, he wants to start sending it to publishers before the end of May. Yes, I’ve decided to stick with the pen-name. Sweet, little, old ladies don’t write such naughty, naughty books, so Percy the pervert is born. Look at some of his novel ‘Ruth in Pieces’  here.

As I said I have still been painting, which is my form of meditation and keeps me sane. Here is a little watercolour of Balgal Beach where I live.  Cheers, Rosa.

Balgal

Categories
Art Writing

IMG_5691So my goldfish turned out to be some type of bridal fish, and she doesn’t look too happy about it. The colours in the photo aren’t very true and I couldn’t fix them properly, so close enough will have to be good enough. I fiddled around with the tail/veil too much and am not entirely happy with the effect, however it is reasonable enough to make a pretty decorative piece for someone’s wall somewhere.

I haven’t done any writing again this week, but I did relearn my poem ‘Until Death Us Do…’ and performed it on Friday night at Gail’s Place. Of course, I stuffed it up a little (the memory not being as good as it once was). It was interesting to perform after such along time of doing nothing on stage…good thing there was only an audience of 1. Lol!

I think I have got painting out of my system for the time being and will now settle to writing my next novel. No, it’s not a murder. I thought I would try my hand at historical fiction. I will however, not be holding back if I feel the scene needs sex or violence or, god forbid, both. It will all take place in this part of Australia, North Queensland. That is all I’m saying for the moment. It may never get off the ground, but it is there in my head and I need to put it on paper.

Time to take the dog to the beach, so….see you all later, Rosa.

Categories
Art Uncategorized

Changing the subject…

Writing wise I have done little since my last post. Leave me alone, I’m thinking. That is my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

However, I have done another acrylic painting. I was a little over birds  (click here to view the birds), so I decided to look at fish and got side tracked by this seahorse.

Shy Seahorse

He looks embarrassed to have his portrait done, and a bit sad as he contemplates the state we humans have made of his home.              Cheers for now, Rosa.

Categories
Writing

Postponed!

Yes, the exhibit and evening around the log fire has been postponed because of the rainy weather. Never mind, I got some painting done in the run up and can relax for that for a bit.It will be all happening at a later date. I’ll let you know the details as they are decided.

However, I’ve had a good idea for a 10 minute play so will spent the coming rainy days fleshing that out. I am basing it on a short, short story I wrote some time ago. I will then save up my pennies and enter it in this year’s Short & Sweets.  Speaking of which, I still haven’t received the film of ‘The Violin Player’. I will have to contact the company and what is holding things up.

One of my beta readers for ‘Jenny’s Story’ has got back to me and given some really useful feedback and some much needed encouragement. I have to say I am actually rather fond of the characters in this story. They let you in much more than ‘Ruth’ did. She is deliberately distant. She doesn’t fit in this world and has all sorts of jagged bits hanging out. She is already broken and has given up. I feel for her but she is definitely a difficult personality. Her back story is interesting and you can have a peek into her past here. Please be warned that, though there is nothing to offend in the excerpt given, parts of RIP are not for the faint -hearted, so don’t go there if you are not prepared for a dark story which includes sex, and death – important parts of life.

I have been doing some hard thinking about my earlier decision to change to a Pen-name for RIP. It feels all wrong for me. Should I be ashamed of the content of my story just because it is raw and confronting, because it is uncomfortable? I’m not ashamed of it but I don’t want to offend people close to me. But, hiding behind a pen name won’t work anyway. I’m still me and I did write the said novel. I don’t know what to do really. I will have to think on it more. It shall probably remain a moot point anyway, unless I get a publishing contract. It’s all too hard at the moment          Later guys, Rosa.