Portrait No. 2 ‘Barely Visible’

This is the second one that didn’t quite make the cut, but IS going to be on exhibition at ‘Your Space’ Thuringowa Library from 22nd. March to 2nd May, so not an entire loss.

There is a bit of a story to this but because I was under a bit of stress during the time I was painting it, I can’t remember what came first the idea for the painting or the poem. I now have an even greater respect for dot-painting indigenous artists. Drawing up the grid of small squares nearly sent me dotty.

Did you see what I did there? Sorry, not sorry.

Barely Visible

Matriarch of the Matrix

In this technological era, I’m a glitch, buffering, barely visible

disappearing into the framework

My thoughts are splintering, pixellating

between what is real and what is merely perceived

What can I believe? Does it really matter?

After all…

‘Reality is what we want it to be’

‘The world is, what we make it’

‘We can be whatever/whomever we want to be’.

If I keep focus on the world I’ve always known

will I lose touch with those living in this new world?

If I can’t keep pace, will I disappear without trace?

Underneath, I’m falling apart.

It becomes harder to find what is true. Who am I?

Who are you?

Will I become one small dot, a little focus of energy

indiscernible from the trillions and trillions who light up life?

Isn’t that what I already am?

Life is a circle — a spiral, replicating DNA

Everything that ever was or will be

already is, exists here and now.

‘time is not linear’

it flies by. Where is it going?

Why then does this body slow, change, age, die

As I slip into that calm blue, understanding evades me

A butterfly lands on my hand

it’s gentle touch tows me back to our beginning.

Now…the world is buffering, coming into focus

I breathe deep of air filled with the heady scent

of life.

I hear nature sing, the rustle of wind, children’s laughter.

I see sunrise, a bird on wing, flowers in bloom.

This is the world I want to inhabit the one reality for me

Shards of a life nearing its end

pixellated snippets of old and new knowledge

make of this life, this world, whatever I put into it

I am the Matriarch of the Matrix.

(c) Rosa Christian.

Ciao for now,

Searching for my Mojo

Just a quick word to say I’m still trying to get back into writing as a serious business. I have spent today mucking around with this site so it makes a little more sense.

I cannot get the sub-page My Poetry to sit after Poetry on the Menu Bar. It looks right when I go into the admin Menu page but comes up wrong on the site.

I’m giving up for now. Please have a look for me and pass along any suggestions. I appreciate your help.

Ciao for now

February already:

Don’t you just hate how time disappears: one day we’re all shouting Happy New Year, next its well into February! Anywho, here we are.

My Rosa Christian Desktop is terribly untidy and scattered atm, but I’m getting there. Percy Rose is doing better and Rosie O’Grady is working on her new website.

My grief refuses to be lassoed and tamed, but patience will win the day.

I haven’t done a lot of new writing, except for a couple of poems and some short story exercises, so here is a reminder of some of the books available from Rosa Christian at Amazon.

Do you ever go back over stuff you’ve done and get a laugh out of it? I found a recording of the title poem for my first ever foray into self-publishing, My Fish Loves Me. I did try to add it here but must upgrade and pay a fee to do so. Bummer…ah well.

Ciao for now,

Busy…and some art

Hi, this is a scheduled one again just so I have time to recover from my trip and my friends party…

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I have been busy and have sent off for some print proofs. One of my new poetry collection, Light in Dark; a new edition for Australia…my Heart and Purple Pages. both of the latter are poetry collections as well. I had to do a new edition of Australia as I couldn’t upload the old one because…formatting with illlustrations. Purple Pages is a small collection of poems on life, love and in all its despair, torment, joy and sensuousness. All are already available as Ebooks, HERE.

I’m pretty much over doing this for the moment… so here are a couple of my latest paintings.

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The one on the right is not quite finished yet, but you get the idea….

I’ll say ciao for now,

Okay, okay…

Yes, I know its been a month but…

This fabulous art work is from my artist friend Lynn Scott-Cumming. She works from home and at Umbrella studios in Townsville, where she recently held an exhibition‘Moom Phase: chasing trancendence’, of her moon prints, of which this is one.

I’ve been busy, but unfortunately not writing anything new. I have however edited and done the cover for my new poetry collection and it is live as an ebook as we speak. I have ordered the proof and admit I’m a bit excited about this one. Is it terribly ‘up myself’ to say I quite like these poems? I meditate through the muse about this crazy world we live in and our place in it. Light and dark in equal measure. Even though some of them are pretty tough to read, to make up for that others are full of love of nature and some are mildly amusing.

I’ve also been working on a print version of my errrr…naughty poems. This small collection of poetry written sometime ago is already available as an ebook. Though not biographical the poems do echo some of my younger angst. Some of them are a bit tough as well, but that, however, is made up for by ‘oh la la’…lol. Send or read them to your lover…

Art work my own
https://www.amazon.com.au/Light-Dark-Rosa-Christian-ebook/dp/B098MNMF81/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&qid=1625791265&refinements=p_27%3ARosa+Christian&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Rosa+Christian

Why oh why will this image not allow me to link on it? It only has a link to media file. The other one worked fine…sigh!

As always, let me know what you think. Ciao for now, Rosa.

Poetry on my mind

As mentioned a couple of posts ago, I haven’t written much poetry lately, but I have now penned one poem and one piece of poetical prose, so I’m feeling better about that. I feel I need a long week-end or even a week’s masterclass in poetry to get me back into the groove.

I have, however, been collating my work of the past 10 years or so. There are, in fact, quite a few so I am going to publish them. Why not, right?

My big problem is that there is no theme to them, or enough of them in one theme to create a book subject. There are my usual nature poems, along side darker themes, and some political comment and protest. Many of them make reference to the moon or Luna, as I like to call her. Looking at them I thought; There are some light ones, some very dark ones, some light with a little dark, some dark with a little light of hope.

Therefore, I decided on ‘Light & Dark’ as a working title. What do you think? or maybe just, ‘Phases’.

For the cover, my friend and artist, Lynn Scott-Cummins, who works out of Umbrella Studios Townsville, is kindly going to allow me to use one of her art prints from her mosr recent exhibition, ‘Moon Phase: Chasing Trancendence.’ I am very excited and thankful, Lynn.

I’d show you the cover, but I haven’t done it yet.

What’s that? You’d like a sample…Oh, all right if you insist…

CREATING MAGIC
 
My wand dabbles in a puddle
soaks up the magic
cuts a swathe through 
sky space
liquid colour seeps 
into damp blankness
fades to nothing at the horizon
a ceiling emerges 
in the aether
not the endless high I long for
my brush is too clumsy to 
capture atmospheric freedom
so my soul can enter the picture
where hidden worlds orbit 
beyond sight
still present. 
Caught in the ecstasy
of creation
the Golden Rule
divide and conquer
texture heft contrast
dip and splash
in primordial soup
a sweeping stroke
defining shadow
a burst of light
cloud mountain tree
appear by sleight of hand
a charlatan's trick
unworthy Maestro.
I falter vision dimmed
finished, emptied.
expression misses perfection
tossed aside it joins others
spinning in the void.

I stare into my palette
pick up my wand…                

A Good Moment

Hi there, I have been very busy over with Percy Rose trying to help with covers and setting up newsletters and stuff. so have had little time for my own writing. I have however collated the last 10 years of my poetry and will soon bring it out on amazon and probably Smash words.

During all the dramas of the past 18months or so I haven’t felt like actually writing poetry, but as the wet season ends and life here in Queensland is good, after all is said and done, I might get back to it. However, I feel like I need a refresher course to get me going again.

Although the other day, (I say the other day, but in fact it was about 6 mths ago. How time flies.) I was feeling so good and in a poetic frame of mind, though not yet ready to write any. I did, however, write about that day and having just reread my words I found that some of that peaceful contentedness came back to me. therefore, I have decided to share them with you.

My view from the Strand cafe where I was sitting writing…it became a beautiful day.

Today is the first time in ages I feel like writing poetry. I have been feeling good, but there is something different inside me. I haven’t written any poetry for months, ye gods even a couple of years, I think.

I am presuming it’s anxiety which has driven my muse into hiding. I’ve done other writing and learned much about self-publishing, but have had absolutely no poetry, no impulse to poetry and I’ve missed it.

It is overcast today as I sit at a table on The Strand awaiting the arrival of my breakfast. I may get rained upon, but I don’t really care. It is November here in North Queensland. Southerners would say it’s hot but at about 28 degrees Celcius it is right in my comfort zone, and the fact that it is humid as well makes it about perfect.

Unlike many people here I don’t want to escape the weather. I don’t want to hide inside in uncomfortably cool air-con. If I wanted to be cold I would move south, but the only thing cold weather does for me is make me want to hibernate. No seriously, I can’t function in the cold, and by cold I mean anything below 20 degrees C. Laugh if you will, but that is the truth.

Anyhow, I digress…

Yes, now at this moment, sitting here I feel…well, I don’t know how to describe it really. I feel whole, at peace, content, healthy, grateful, excited, calm, positive, loved and loving. It is an extraordinary moment.

______________

I have just finished my breakfast. It was nothing special – eggs, tomato, ciabatta toast and haloumi, if you must know.

It seems to me that there is a gentle enjoyment in everyone here in the cafe, on The Strand, looking out to Magnetic Island over a mill pond still, green ocean whose surface ripples slightly under the air currents.

Everyone is contentedly, but unconsciously enjoying this same upbeat moment with me. Couples converse, friends greet each other and settle in for a good long chat. At the table behind me a group of men, about 7 of them, obviously old mates, tell tales and share relaxed laughter.

I’m not quite ready to write poetry, but wanted to share this ephemeral moment in my life with you, whoever you are.

Maybe we will meet some day; until then – health and happiness to you. Rosa.

Goodness that went on for a bit, but it is exactly as I wrote it. I hope you were able to share and enjoy the sensations of that time with me. Ciao for now, Rosa.

Sooorrryyy…

Yes, I have been slack. My excuse is that I’ve been nursing my alter-ego along trying to get print copies of their book done and ordered. For details see Percy’s latest blog. We have had some trouble, and still have in some quarters, but our first shipment should arrive in a few weeks…fingers and toes crossed.

Now, I can settle down and get on with publishing my next book of poetry. Tentative Title is Light and Dark. My trouble with titling my poetry is that I write about all sorts of things and have no theme except the life around me and my inner life. What do you think of the title?

It is the wet season here and Dog and I got the ‘lack of Vitamin D blues’, but now the sun is shining, and back to heavenly weather we head. My yard has dried out enough so I have mowed at least but there is much weed pulling needed.

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This was my backyard last week…

In the meantime, I’m still painting…I am taking video lessons with the late E. John Robinson. Love his work and attitude and relaxed style. Some of the lessons I’ve got are rescued from tape so the colours he is mixing are a little difficult to see…luckily I have ears. Here is one I did following the video — Mountain Lake. Not too bad, considering it’s not Australian scenery, and I certainly have no snow-covered mountains where I live in North Queensland. Not excellent, still…

I followed this up with a painting from a photo of Lac Louise (I believe) taken by one of my Canadian nieces, which she kindly said I could use. Of course, I changed the clouds, a lot, and brought in brighter sunlight from the upper right and made some other minor adjustments. Overall, I’m quite pleased with the finished product. More practice needed though.

Oh, and we put on another ‘Bubbles and Brushes’ night, and despite the fact that it was absolutely pelting down 2/3 of the people signed up turned up, and a fine time was had by all.

Well that is all I have until next time, when I might have some exciting news…

Ciao for now, Rosa.

Too much to do

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  Sunrise – Fisherman’s Landing, Balgal Beach

Hi, I am in that place where your head is so full of stuff that needs doing that it stops functioning and cottonwool gets into the works and gums everything up.

I am trying to get 2 separate books ready for separate comps and the computer has decided to throw a hissy fit, and go on a go slow strike. I’ve just rebooted and this at least seems to be working quite okay. We’ll see what happens when I try to publish.

Speaking of publishing…I am trying to get a book cover uploaded to Ingram, using their template PDF. Now, I admit I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but neither am I a complete idiot. I have submitted numerous tries, some of which I know contained errors that were my fault however I’ve followed instruction and corrected everything I can and still have no luck. I wrote them a letter and got a pissant reply that basically ignored my questions. Has anyone else there had this problem. Maybe it is all my fault. Maybe I am an idiot.Oh well, I’ll keep trying. I can be incredibly stubborn, and who knows I might get lucky. If you can help please leave a comment.

I’m also editing stuff for Percy Rose, whose posts, by the way, are appearing on my FB page, Rosa’s Work, instead on their page, Percy Rose – author. The internet hates me.

On a brighter note, my collection of short stories, Forgotten Dreams and other fiction’, should be up on Amazon soon…ish, as will my newest poetry book, ‘Light and Dark’.

On top of all that is the Pandemic and the imminent arrival of Christmas, which I am NOT ready for. Aaarrrgghhh!

What a lot of whinging. Sorry. I’ll be more positive next time I’m sure, and here’s something positive to finish with. The picture above is a commission I recently completed. Please excuse the quality of the photo I always get a glare bouncing back from my oils.

Must be off. Ciao for now, Rosa.

Why do I do it?

Here I am again. It is 3am and I can’t sleep. My head hurts. I think too much.

Following another disappointment, I’m again asking myself why I keep putting myself out there. I have been asked this a lot. ‘Why not just do what you do for yourself and let that be enough.’ Well, first of all, I do do what I do (writing, painting, poetry) for myself. I delight in finding something special in the ordinary, those moments that give heft and contrast to my life. Having done that, I then want people to see what I see, hear what I hear etc. Oft-times it’s beautiful, light, ephemeral; sometimes it’s emotional, dark and painful; most often it means something, I gain perspective, or express how I’m feeling in that moment.

I have been reading a book ‘Special Moments’ by the American artist E. John Robinson. I love his seascapes and landscapes. In the book he talks about how we are part of nature and can be uplifted by nature; how we are part of nature not its master or superior. I too feel that thread of connection and revel in it.

E. John also talks about why he thinks creatives feel they must put their work out there, let me quote something that resonated with me…

“…But with all our insight, all our visions, we cannot keep it to ourselves, can we? Our obsession with creativity is matched only by our need and desire to communicate it to others. Perhaps that is why we are artists. We must tell our dreams, our visions, and we need recognition. We paint, write songs, poems, novels; compose symphonies, carve blocks of wood and granite and marble; then we must standby anxiously while others without our isights pass judgement upon our efforts. No matter; that is the way of artist and patron but it brings us face to face with a critical choice: to whom do we direct our creativities and for what purpose? Under what exalted icon do we place our offerings to be blessed?What shale our God? Public opinion? Income? Prestige and fame? Or is there a higher ideal?…We must paint first for ourselves…” and later “…No matter that we are never quite satisfied! That is a given and a good sign…’

I found it reassuring that others much more talented than myself grapple with this question also.I suppose I will keep doing and questioning why I do. I can’t help it. I suppose I want to share a little of myself with all of you out there, and must take criticism on the chin for doing so.

Early, early mornings are my time for contemplation. It’s been nice talking to you. Ciao for now Rosa.